Keeping The Peace
A voice room, a rude stranger, and learning the Southeast Asian art of silence.
Suddenly, I feel in with the Asians now. In a voice room on HelloTalk, a language-learning app, with Cambodians, a Middle Eastern guy comes in, direct and rude. I don’t have anything good to say; they don’t have anything good to say. Keeping the peace is the protocol here: stay silent.
The guy keeps talking, not understanding why everyone’s quiet on him. I can bridge the gap, so I tell him, “You don’t understand the culture; it means they’re waiting for you to leave.” Then I go silent again, he leaves.
We talk for a bit, and the guy comes back. At this point, I realize I’ve got nothing useful to say. Honestly, it’s better to keep the peace, so I stay silent. And honestly, the thing is fully aligned with the Southeast Asia way, I’m getting it now. Why say anything? What good will it do?
Eventually, he leaves again. We talk, and I say, “Okay, I get it. This keeping-the-peace stuff works in this moment because I really had nothing useful to say in this spot.” I’ve become more flexible in dealing with people and have developed a new rapport with Southeast Asia.